Loser cruisers
There three kinds of vehicles on New Zealand roads you should always avoid. Here's a list of them and why:
1. Gray Toyota Hilux/Hilux Surf/Nissan Safari and any Japanese 4WD that's over 15 years old. Here's the reason: Murder accused appears in court. For some reason social scums/rednecks/transients here in New Zealand really like those god awful trucks. Probably for the same reason social scums/rednecks/transients in the US drive their 20 year Ford Broncos. If you ever dare to pass on of those trucks on the open road, be prepared to see some fingers, if not worse. You should not park near them either, because they're very likely to give you dirty looks if you don't look like them.
2. Gray Mazda Familia(323) hatchback/Nissan Pulsar hatchback and any puny Japanese car with ridiculously big wheels. Here's the reason: Police name driver of car in horror smash. You see, putting a turbo in a puny 1300CC Japanese car and make it go twice as fast as it was designed to be was never a good idea. Unfortunately these are about the only cars the average Kiwi teenager can afford, and after they bought the wreck and made a turbo out of a traffic cone and some fans they have no money left for irrelevant stuff like brakes or even tires. Speed didn't kill those teenagers - stupidity did. Also, the rims on those cars often cost more than the car itself while the tires cost less than my Subway lunch. You shouldn't park near them for the same reason above, plus they might break into your car if the circumstances are right, which oddly usually means if you have a similar vehicle and park in a dark place. Punks here for some reason don't go for new and nice cars.
3. Nissan Serena. This is more of my own opinion. Jeremy Clarkson once said that owning a MPV is a sign that you've completely given up with life. I think life has given up on anyone who owns a Nissan Serena. For the non-car-obsessive, Serena is a puny Nissan van that's based on a very small platform and uses a very small engine, but you can fit 6 people in there, if you don't mind that the top half of the car ends up being heavier than the bottom half. People who buy a Serena are people who can't afford a proper MPV, but decided to ahead and have more kids than the average rabbit anyway. They also tend to think that no one should go faster than they do on the open road and enjoy leading a line of cars at 70 km/h. Don't park next to them because the kids will bang you door when they open theirs and their ice cream will always end up on your car.
As you can see, losers here in God's Own seem to have a strong affinity for gray cars. I'm not sure why, but it could be because they're all really lazy and gray cars don't show dirt. Oh, and it is a rule that a loser here mustn't have more than 0.5 mm tread depth on their tire. I guess that's God's way of eliminating those losers when the roads are wet.
