A First Explore to singleton

I never thought it would be so good to be single. So far in my entire adulthood I've never been single. Not a day passed without me thinking of my girl friend at the time, and knowing someone cares for you is very assuring. It was as if it was the my little comfort zone in my otherwise tiring and lonesome days.

Hence this is a completely new territory to me, and I think it's just great! Although I do wake up every morning hoping to find someone sleeping next to me, and I wish there's someone for me to share all the interesting things in my life.

Some may say I'm just bragging to cover the shame of betrayal, but I beg to differ. Admittedly, the betrayal, although not entirely unexpected, was a serious blow to my self-esteem. But there is no shame; because I have done everything right, and everything I can. Every time I think about this, I actually have this strange feeling of satisfaction for I know I can always surf through the memory without any trace of guilt.

Cora is the German girl I met in the backpackers in National Park. She's not particularly pretty, but she has a pair of beautiful eyes and the grace of subtlety. I don't really expect any email or message from her, but it feels great to know that I have the chance, and I'm no longer confined to someone who doesn't want to commit herself to me.

I have this history of falling in love with girls I don't love very much in the beginning, yet my inexpungible sense of responsibility always make me grow attached to them. In the end it becomes difficult to distinguish responsibility from love, and the relationship becomes more a burden than joy.

Which is why the memory with Becky was so sweet, I guess. It was a relationship that couldn't have gone anywhere, and all we could do was just to enjoy what was available. Irresponsible, yet I think it's something everyone should do at least once in his lifetime.

I don't know what to expect from my next relationship. When it's gonna happen, who she's going to be, how long it's going to last... I don't have answers to those questions, nor do I want to. All I want to do right now is enjoy my singleton (while it lasts).